We’ve explored through our podcast how abuse comes in so many forms, from domestic violence to abuse from the church. Today’s show is no exception, as it affects 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men: sexual abuse.
Our guest today is Paula Mosher Wallace – speaker, writer, life coach, co-host of Bloom Today and President of Bloom In The Dark. From her own experiences of childhood sexual abuse, Paula shares how it took her over 30 years to finally reveal her secret, and how she found healing.
Living a Life Pretending You’re Not Terminally Ill
Trauma from sexual abuse is normalized by the victim; it changes your viewpoint of world and instills the belief that you don’t deserve love. From an informal study conducted by Paula, victims on average take between 20 to 40 years until they reveal to someone that they have been sexually abused.
However, bottling up trauma “is like pretending you don’t have cancer” – it can physically kill you as it can drive you into drugs, alcohol, suicide, and abusive relationships, and it destroys those around you. There is a trauma that needs to be healed, just like cancer, and if you don’t treat it, it gets worse.
The Faulty Christian Mindset
There’s a common mindset amongst the Christian community that “if you’re a good enough Christian then you’ll get over it”. The reality is that evil exists in the world, and we need to stand and speak up – otherwise we allow satan to thrive on this evil. Victims needs to be believed and listened to, and abusers need to be held accountable, otherwise there’s no reason to stop.
“Don’t let the damage someone else did to you, stop you from reaching out and getting help”
Being sexually abused is an abuse of your control and safety, but you are in control of finding ways to heal. Paula hit the wall when she realized she was starting to destroy those close around her. Through years of learning, counseling, and helping others; she began to heal.
Paula’s mantra is “I might not reverse my past, but I can use the fertilizer of my past to bloom”. The first step is to know that you’re not alone; download Paula’s free ebook where you can hear the inspiring stories from other ex-victims.
Find a safe person you can confide with – a friend, mentor, pastor, counsellor, and you can start building your path to recovery. Paula’s faith in God spurred her on too, she shares: “God always told me it was part of my training”.
Bloom Today TV
Free book: Bloom In The Dark – True Stories of Hope and Redemption
‘A More Excellent Way’ by Dr. Henry Wright