037 Parenting: Build a Loving Family With Adopted Children


Naomi Quick always knew from a young age that it was her calling to adopt children when she had a family. But for most of us it’s a difficult decision to make – perhaps you don’t feel 100% ready or that it’s too much responsibility.

On today’s show, Naomi joins us to share her journey of having four children and adopting two children with her husband. We uncover some of the gaps in the adoption process, and the right mindset to hold. Naomi Quick is a blogger, author, speaker and mother of six children. 

“Children Are a Blessing, Not a Burden”

Society too often labels having children as burdensome and trouble-makers. Be mindful that children are a blessing and the next generation of God’s tribe. Equally, Jesus is the savior – not us.

We’re not here to save children, but to give them a safe and open environment to grow and flourish. The child battles with you, not against you.

The Gaps in the Adoption Process

From Naomi’s personal experiences with adoption and supporting other parents, the adoption process often neglects the parents and the rest of the family’s own experiences – “trauma triggers trauma”.

If you feel you need to address some past traumas, it’s important to address them now so they don’t affect the adopted child and family dynamics.

For example, Naomi was a people-pleaser.  She struggled to come to terms when one of her adopted children didn’t respond to her affection. It hurt even more when they would respond to the rest of the family.

She learned to let go and overcome this behavior. She focused her energies on building an open, safe environment for the children.

In addition, important paperwork or histories of the adopted child can get lost in the bureaucratic process. This can be stressful, but always remember that the child has enough fear already – it doesn’t matter what age they are – they don’t need your fears. Focus on providing them with a loving home. 

“Embrace Your People”

Your family is your tribe. Slow down and be present with every child. Ensure they play together.

For example, Naomi has an ‘open-door policy’, where all doors are open in the house when they play, so no child is neglected and they’re in line of sight with you.

In addition, give all children equal one-to-one time with you and your husband so they can all equally connect closely with you.

Naomi describes adoption as “spiritual warfare”: as parents you’re fighting for their soul. You learn to be comfortable in difficult situations.

If you’re considering adoption, sign up to Naomi’s webinar to learn some key tools. Provided both parents agree to adopting, you’re giving children with difficult pasts a chance to grow into their full potential. 



‘Don’t Waste Your Wait: Embracing the Journey of Bringing Your Child Home’ by Naomi Quick

FREE Webinar: Foster Care & Adoption – 5 Keys to Starting the Journey Out Right

‘Anything’ by Jennie Allen

Are You Considering Adoption? Read this first to help you understand the process, the areas in your life you need to change to prepare for adoption, and some of the things to expect. Adoptive mom and author Naomi Quick explains all these and more.

Published by

Vincent & Laura Ketchie

Vincent Ketchie, LPC and Laura Ketchie, LPC are the hosts of Relationship Helpers, a podcast where they discuss family issues and interview relationship experts. Vincent and Laura are licensed marriage counselors.

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