030 Personal Growth: With Or Without a Relationship – Learn To Love Yourself


Ever avoid being in your own company? A struggle with being single can push you into unhealthy relationships as a way to fight the fear of being on your own.

Today’s guest is Christy Johnson, a former ‘Love Junkies’ who constantly sought love through others and not through God and herself. She’s a speaker, author, and life coach. Her mission is to support women and feed their soul health.

Falling into bad relationships is big indicator that there is something within yourself that needs to be addressed; “baggage attracts baggage”. It can take a lifetime to realize that approval does not come from a partner, but from God and yourself.

“Be the person that you want to attract”

Nourish the soul

Look within and see how you can heal and love yourself. There’s a limit to our threshold when faced with adversity.

If we bottle in negativity and trauma, it will eventually pop out, be it physical or mental. Christy points out that ‘bitterness’ is Hebrew for ‘poison’; containing this energy within ourselves does no good to the body or the soul.

Unconditional love

God’s love is unconditional. It’s a liberating dynamic to realize we don’t need to seek approval from a partner, as God loves us no matter what. The Bible shows that it’s not our role to save or condemn people, but simply to love people as they are.

Unconditional love also requires forgiveness. The power of forgiving others and yourself is a huge step towards recovery, as Christy shares on the show how she coped from a family tragedy.

“We can’t learn to forgive if we haven’t been offended”


Learn how to guard your heart, and stop bitterness from others penetrate your soul. From simple things like leaving the house for ten minutes when things get stressful or dedicating ‘me-time’ a certain time each week. A habit of creating a comfortable atmosphere for both partners to address things helps solve issues much better together.

The fundamental concept of love in the Bible, love others as you would yourself, has been the cornerstone to Christy’s outlook and liberation. She’s now 19 years into a happy marriage with a healthy family.

It’s often when we’re pushed to the extreme and in the face of adversity that we recognize enough is enough, and things need to change: “God ministers to us when we’re at the end of ourselves and finally willing to listen”.


Love Junkies by Christy Johnson
Codependent No More by Melody Beattie

Christy Johnson, author of Love Junkies


Purchase Christy Johnson’s book below:


Stuck in toxic relationships? How do I get out of these cycles of emotional abuse? How do I LOVE myself? Christy Johnson, life coach, speaker and author, a self-described recovering “love junkie” explains what it takes to become whole and love yourself.


Published by

Vincent & Laura Ketchie

Vincent Ketchie, LPC and Laura Ketchie, LPC are the hosts of Relationship Helpers, a podcast where they discuss family issues and interview relationship experts. Vincent and Laura are licensed marriage counselors.

13 thoughts on “030 Personal Growth: With Or Without a Relationship – Learn To Love Yourself”

  1. “We can’t learn to forgive if we’ve never been offended.”
    Well, ain’t that the truth!
    Bitterness is an ugly monster. Once we let him Him in, it’s hard to chase him out.
    Great thoughts here!

    1. In this episode, Christy Johnson describes her struggles with dating, single hood, and relationships. She explains emotional abuse and codependency and how she was able to overcome them through God’s love and forgiveness.

  2. Sadly she only refers to women as love junkies and I wish she had referred to all people being able to fall into this category. Men too can live the way she lived.

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