Getting married is the easy part. Staying married takes a lot of work. Take some of the guessing game out and take a look at my "Premarital Checklist." If you are a married-couple-to-be or a couple that's been married for years, you will find questions on my checklist that will help you get to know your mate better!

038 Marriage: A Pre-Marital Checklist

*Make sure you listen to the podcast (radio show) above. [Wait for it to load, if you don’t see the audio player.]

SHOW NOTES

 Pray together and then discuss these questions.

Spiritual 

☐ 1. Do you share the same spiritual background? (If different, how so?) 

☐ 2. How much spiritual involvement are you going to have with your spouse? (How many times per week will you pray with each other? How often will you do devotionals and study the Bible together?) 

☐ 3. How much church involvement will you have? (Sundays, Sundays and Wednesday night services, more, less?) 

☐ 4. How much spiritual involvement/church involvement will you have with your future children? (How many times per week will you pray together? How often will you do devotionals and read Bible stories? How often will you go to church?)

Family/Children 

☐ 5. Do you want to have children? 

☐ 6. If you say yes, do you believe that the mother should stay home with the child (children) after they are born? For how long? 

☐ 7. What kind of extra-curricular activities will you allow when they get older? 

☐ 8. What kind of schooling do you want them to have? 

☐ 9. What is your back-up plan if want to have children, but find that you are infertile? (Would you consider adoption? What are your feelings on fertility treatment?) 

☐ 10. What are your feelings on family planning? (How will you be prepared for an unplanned pregnancy?) 

☐ 11. Are there any family traditions that you want to pass along to your family? Are there any ideas of new traditions you would like to start with your marriage? 

☐ 12. Do you know each other’s medical history? 

☐ 13. Consider your respective families. Think of the possibilities that your parents, or your spouse’s parents may need someone to assist them with day-to-day living. Would you consider having one or both of your parents or your spouse’s parents live with you? 

☐ 14. What kind of time do you want to spend with each other’s family weekly, monthly, yearly? (This is a big question.) 

☐ 15. How will you go about celebrating the holidays?

Money/Finances 

☐ 16. How do you feel about the wife making more of an income than the husband? (Be honest, this one can be tricky and really bring about pride issues!) 

☐ 17. What is your back-up plan if you lose your job? 

☐ 18. Are you a saver or do you live beyond your means

☐ 19. Will you make a weekly/monthly/yearly budget together? 

☐ 20. Will you share banking/credit card accounts, or have separate accounts? 

Sex 

☐ 21. What are your sexual expectations? (This will change as you learn about each other in the marital experience, be prepared for compromise.) 

☐ 22. How do you feel about your spouse being seen in public with someone of the opposite sex without you? (Should your spouse be in close quarters with someone of the opposite sex alone?) 

☐ 23. Consider the possibility that injury or illness could prevent sexual relations for weeks to months on end. Discuss your feelings about this. 

☐ 24. Also consider the possibility of absence from one another due to business trips, deployments, etc. What will you do? 

☐ 25. Have you considered having accountability partners? (These are people of the same sex who you can talk about issues such as temptation. It is very wise to find a strong Christian that you can discuss problems with. Many men find accountability partners helpful with dealing the temptation of pornography and the temptation of infidelity.) 

Miscellaneous (And yet VERY important!) 

☐ 26. Do you want pets? (Are you a cat person, dog person, exotic animal person?) 

☐ 27. How will you divvy up household responsibilities? 

☐ 28. Do you have or will you get life insurance? 

☐ 29. Are you an organ donor? 

☐ 30. Do you have a living will? 

☐ 31. Do you believe in being placed on life support in the event of a life-threatening illness or injury? 

☐ 32. What are your eating patterns/routines? 

☐ 33. How would you like to spend “free time” as a married couple? 

☐ 34. What is your opinion of alcoholic consumption? 

Of course this list is a springboard for more questions you may have for each other. Use this list as an opportunity to bring up other questions you may have for each other.

Getting married is the easy part. Staying married takes a lot of work. Take some of the guessing game out and take a look at my "Pre-Marital Checklist." If you are a married-couple-to-be or a couple that's been married for years, you will find questions on my checklist that will help you get to know your mate better!
Questions to ask your future spouse before the wedding day.

Published by

Vincent & Laura Ketchie

Vincent Ketchie, LPC and Laura Ketchie, LPC are the hosts of Relationship Helpers, a podcast where they discuss family issues and interview relationship experts. Vincent and Laura are licensed marriage counselors.

6 thoughts on “038 Marriage: A Pre-Marital Checklist”

  1. I’m already married but these are all the correct key point you would like to discuss with someone you plan to marry. I have come to find myself utilizing all of these question which has made my marriage a lot better since I started doing these things after marriage. Thanks for sharing????

  2. Wow this is such a great checklist! I am with my second partner having a failed first marriage and these are the questions that I should have asked at the beginning to save a lot of heart ache.

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