A blended family is when a couple forms, and bring children from their previous families together. This undeniably brings in stress for the couple, as roles are questioned – do you replace the children’s other mother or father? How do you best treat everyone equally?
On this week’s show, we are joined by Willie and Rachel Scott, founders of Better Than Blended. With their own blended family of 7 children, they’ve learnt to focus on being Godly examples of a wife and husband, mother and father. They share with us the common barriers, and how to overcome them.
The most common challenge for women is the feeling of rejection. When you don’t get the response you want from the blended family, it’s easy to feel rejected. It can be confusing where you stand, for example being the additional mother or that you can’t replace the children’s other mother.
But you can gather strength from this barrier, through the power of an outside perspective. You’re better able to view the overall dynamic within the family and see where the tensions are, and address them in an open way.
Another pitfall is discipline, which men tend to struggle with in a blended family. When their authority is questioned, it can be a crush to their ego.
But it’s important to stick with it, and ensure that children learn morals through discipline. It shouldn’t be done for the sake of it, but for family members to learn from mistakes.
Developing open communication is key to this, by regularly reflecting over mistakes and ensuring how to best not repeat them again, it can create “short-term resistance but it’s healthy on the long-term”.
Willie and Rachel have learnt that adding fun and quality time between husband and wife has been instrumental to the growth of their relationship and family. They schedule in regular date nights so they can unwind and be more spontaneous – having seven children has not stopped them.
“In order to have an authentic, thriving family – you have to have that in your marriage first”
By modeling a healthy relationship to your children, they learn to model such relationships with their future partners. Open communication, and being Godly examples to one another, is the key to thriving blended family. The more you practice this open dynamic, the quicker you grow and address future stumbling blocks.