Today’s guest is Traci Lester, author of “Teaching the Birds and the Bees Without the Butterflies.” Her book encourages parents on how to give the “sex talk” to their children in a more comfortable and helpful way.
Traci has been in the pregnancy care ministry for twenty-five years and is a client services director for our local pregnancy center. Her heart is for reaching women in the midst of crisis when discovering an unplanned pregnancy.
Traci’s book arose from speaking to school, youth and other groups about sex, in hopes to encourage more informed thinking about sex, leading to fewer pregnancies.
Teenagers Do Not Know Their Value
Traci shares an experience about a group of three fifteen-year old clients. They sought out pregnancy tests at the local pregnancy center.
Traci was struck by the disappointment one felt because she was not pregnant. She had hoped that being pregnant would help her to keep her boyfriend. The girl was trying to find worth in being pregnant.
Traci shared with her how valuable she is to God and how her God-given sexuality is precious. One of the girls did happen to be pregnant, and Traci prepared her for that possibility.
Parents Are Not Talking To Their Kids About God and Their Value
Traci felt that the missing piece in this story was the parents. She feels it imperative that parents teach their children about how precious they are to God. Parents need to be a constant resource for them when they need support.
After talking with parents of teens, it occurred to Traci that the values and much of the knowledge about sex had already been formed. It felt like having to erase years of the world’s influence—doing damage control.
It became apparent that reaching parents of younger children would be the key to starting a foundation upon healthy sex talk.
Traci discusses the misconceptions that keep parents from talking about sex, such as trying to preserve their child’s innocence by not talking about sex.
Parents Need To Be The Experts On Sex To Their Kids
We should be the experts about sex to our kids, rather than society. Parents’ feelings of discomfort have superseded the importance of broaching the topic of sex.
Parents need to talk to each other prior to talking to the children. There is no perfect way to approach the sex talk, but parents need to be prepared with a plan.
Be prepared for them to ask at the most inopportune times. Parents need to be proactive. Parents do not need to know all the answers, only prepared to say “let’s find out together”.
Parents need to be an open door of communication for their children. Their children should feel comfortable to reach out to them when they have questions or concerns.
Traci ends today’s show discussing her call to address taboo topics such as sex, abortion, and the church. She advises asking children what they know about these topics so that they can better fill in the gaps and better educate them.
Traci’s Contact Info